Create a Positive, Happy Life by Sue Courtney

Whenever we set ourselves a goal or say we want something it is because we believe that it will make us happier – no matter whether it is losing weight, moving house, changing job, going on holiday ….. the intention is always to make us happier.

In reality, this is putting the cart before the horse. It is much easier to achieve anything if, first, you have decided to be happy – but that is another article. So, for this week I offer some tips to help the happiness along.

The coaching bit

Last time I wrote about diminishing the impact of the irritating demon that says you can’t achieve your goals, taking 100% responsibility for your life and doing something to make you happy every day.

Now I have some more ideas to help you achieve success and have fun along the way.

We are, as a species, very good at focusing on what is wrong and finding fault. We are less good at looking at the positives, so this week I want to share some tips that will help to help rewire your brain to focus on how good life is already.

A timely reminder to live your life now – you just never know when time will run out! Photo by Alan Dent.

The first activity I would like to suggest is keeping a daily ‘success log’. In a specially chosen book that you will look forward to using, note at least five things that went well during each day. This is a very powerful activity as it enhances your self esteem and builds confidence. It also gets you into the habit of looking for things going right, thereby changing your focus to the good and positive aspects of each day. By recalling and writing down all of your successes, both big and small, you are wiring them into your long-term memory. On days when you need a boost you can re-read your entries and remind yourself that your life is actually a lot better than you think.

Another exercise is to use the back of the book to make a note of all the successes you have had over your lifetime – all the awards, certificates, achievements and compliments that you have collected over your life so far. Start at the very beginning, when you were a small child, and move year-by-year to the present day. Include things like dancing certificates, exams passed, jobs you have had, challenging events that you have  overcome – everything. This will remind you of how successful and amazing you actually are and always have been.

The mirror exercise works on the principle that we all need acknowledgement and the acknowledgement we give ourselves is the most important. You may feel silly doing this and I suggest doing it behind closed doors or when nobody else is around.

Basically, you stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself how great you are and appreciate all your achievements for the day.

You have to say it out loud!

This is usually quite challenging because self-congratulation is not a very British thing to do. But if it helps to build confidence in your ability to achieve results and change your life, it is certainly worth a try.

Lastly, for this week, have you tried ‘acting as-if’ you already are the successful ‘you’ who has achieved your goals?

When you are faced with temptation, a low mood, or a difficult situation, ask yourself,

“What would the successful me, who has achieved the goals, do in this situation?”

Then do whatever comes to mind – just as you would if you were that successful you (which you are, but have just temporarily forgotten). By developing the habit of taking action you will very quickly develop some of the habits of successful people and become that successful person, living your ideal life. This question has got me out of bed and motivated to take action on many occasions!

The Styling Bit

There is a new sensation sweeping the world of fashion – “Dopamine Dressing”. In essence it is fashion designed to cheer you up!

Now this isn’t exactly scientific, but there is some evidence that certain colours can lift your mood. However, the colours will be different for each individual. Personally I love to wear my yellow Dr.

 Marten boots and my silver platform trainers, they always make me feel great. (Whether you would agree that I look great when I am wearing them is another matter!)

My yellow Dr. Marten boots Photo by Alan Dent

I’m not convinced that wearing a yellow or silver dress would have the same effect on my happiness levels – no, I am actually convinced that I would look and feel dreadful! For me it has to do with wearing colours that I know flatter my skintone and make me look my best. I have given up on wearing colours that I like but don’t like me.

My silver platform trainers Photo by Alan Dent

When I do a Wardrobe De-Tox for clients I assess their colouring and advise on the colours that suit them best showing them why, very visually, in the mirror. However, if you don’t want to go to the trouble of having a complete wardrobe overhaul (which is very cost effective and great fun) I can recommend finding a local “Colour Me Beautiful” consultant and finding out which colours are in your personal colour palette.

I firmly believe that if you know that you are looking your best then your mood will automatically lift, you will feel happier and more confident. So, yes I believe clothes and the colours you wear can have an effect on your mood and make you happier.

What are your favourite colours that always make you feel wonderful?

If you are having challenges with your goals then please drop me an email, I would be happy to offer some advice. I would also love to hear about your amazing achievements this year.

Next time, I have yet more tips to help you achieve  your goals, or get you back on track if you have had a little lapse. I will also ponder the issue of ‘age appropriate dressing’! (Have a guess about what someone who wears yellow Dr. Marten’s or silver platform trainers might think.)