Making Success a Habit by Sue Courtney

The Coaching Bit

I hope that you may have tried adopting the 5% principle that I shared with you last week to chunk down a goal and make it manageable to achieve. I am still increasing my weekly walking target by 5% and I am on track to meet my goal by the end of March. At that point it still won’t be a habit though. I will have to continue to walk at this level for 66 days in order for it to have become a habit. This sounds like a lot of hard work – but the positive is that after this it shouldn’t take any willpower to keep it up! (That is a thought I like).

Let me explain.

The brain is not hard-wired, it has what scientists call ‘neuroplasticity’. That means that it is capable of making new connections, developing new ways of thinking and new ways of doing things – meaning that you can change!

It has been stated, by scientists that it takes approximately 40 days for a new action to become routine and approximately 66 days for it to become a fully fledged habit.

The 40 days is based on research done by NASA scientists working with astronauts. They wanted to understand how long it took to rewire the astronaut’s brains.

To do this they gave a group of astronauts convex glasses which flipped the world upside down. The scientists then observed the astronauts to see what happened. Well, after 21 days the first astronaut’s world turned the right way up again. The others followed, taking anything from 21 to 40 days for their world to right itself. Their brains had totally rewired in that time.

Interestingly, if the convex glasses were removed half way through the experiment, even if only for one day, it took another 21 to 40 days to achieve the change. Consistency is clearly vital for routines to be formed.

However, in another experiment by University College, London, it was discovered that it takes approximately 66 days to form a habit. They define a habit as a behavior  that has reached a stage of 'automacity', where it is performed whenever the situation is encountered without thinking, awareness or intention.

However, There was a wide variation in time it took the participants to form the new habit which ranged from 18 days to 254 days, 66 being the average. So why might it take you just over two weeks or about eight months to change a behavior? Simply put – motivation. You need to be serious about making the change and have a really strong ‘why’ to overcome the urge to not bother.

If you are reaching this point, here are some tips to help you keep going for that magical 66 days (more or less).

• ·      Change only one habit at a time. Overhauling your life needs to be done one step at a time.
• ·      Start with small steps – that 5% more that I mentioned last week. Make the goal possible for you to achieve. This builds momentum.
• ·      Make this a habit by repeating on a daily basis until it is automatic – you feel that you need to do it and can’t imagine not doing it. Then make it bigger – walk further, eat a bit less, whatever it is you are doing, take it a few steps on once it has become habitual.
• ·      Identify your cue – what causes you to do the activity? It may be drinking a glass of water before dinner or going for a walk after dinner. Your cue, in this case is the time of day or the meal. If this is consistent the action should be easier to form into a habit.
• ·      Be sure that it is a habit that YOU want to install. If getting fit is your goal then because someone else is running five miles each day, doesn’t mean you should if you hate running. Walk, dance, swim, - find an activity that you will enjoy, it’s YOUR life, do it YOUR way.
• ·      Plan for the days when it just isn’t possible. You may feel ill or have an unavoidable meeting. What will you do then? Maybe just do less, or allow yourself that one session off, knowing that you will be back on track the next day. Dieters are notorious for letting one lapse turn into complete abandonment of the diet. Don’t let that be you –mentally plan your strategy.
• ·      Create accountability by telling others what you are doing. It is much harder to quit if you have to explain why you quit to others. I certainly found that publicly stating my aim to only drink water for the month of January and asking for sponsorship ensured that I stuck to the goal. Failure wasn’t an option once I had done that!

The Styling Bit

Last week I mentioned that I would share some of the characteristics of the five main body shapes.

•        If you are an apple shape, you have a voluptuous chest, round tummy, little or no clearly defined waist, quite a flat bottom, chunky arms and wonderfully slim legs. 


•       If you are a pear shape, you have a small bust, slim arms, slim waist, flat tummy, curvaceous hips and thick legs. 


•       If you are a strawberry shape, you have a wide back and broad shoulders, a large bust, flat bottom, slim legs, and you carry weight around your tummy. 


•        If you are a rhubarb shape, you have a boyish figure with small bust, no clearly defined waist, slim hips, wonderfully long slim legs and a long body. 


•        If you are an hourglass shape, then you are curvaceous, with a full bust, small waist, rounded hips and generous thighs. You may also have heavy legs. 


As you can see, there is no perfect shape. If you are like me, you would probably like to have aspects of each, but acceptance of what you are is key. Once you are clear about what body shape you have, you can dress to flatter your shape, highlighting your assets and drawing attention away from aspects that you are less keen on.

(Excerpted from my soon to be published e-book “Success with Style: How to Create a Signature Look That Says You Mean Business”)

So which shape best describes you?

Over the next few weeks I will share some of the styles that flatter the different shapes.

The 5% Principle by Sue Courtney

The Coaching Bit

If you are finding some of your goals a little challenging to stick to then the idea behind the book by Michael Alden entitled “ 5% More – Making Small Changes To Achieve Extraordinary Results” may be helpful. It offers advice about making positive changes to your life in small increments that compound over time.

It is written mainly as a business book, but the principles can be applied to just about any aspect of your life to bring about easy and lasting change. Having achieved my water-drinking goal in January, I have now turned my attention to my fitness. In August I bought myself a ‘Fitbit’ to track my movement. It has been useful – if only to prove that some weeks I do very little exercise! So I decided to apply the 5% more principle to my walking. I took my last weekly steps total and, using a calculator, I worked out what 5% more a week would look like and how it could lead me to achieving my ultimate goal of walking 100,000 steps every week. I calculate that I will need to add about 4,000 steps a week (each week) to my total, which is not too much each day. It should take me about six weeks to reach my goal.

Then I began to wonder what else this principle could be used for. If your goal is to give up smoking then could you try smoking 5% fewer cigarettes a week? How long would it take for you to become a complete non-smoker using this method?

Want to lose weight? Try cutting calories by just 5% a week and upping your activity by 5% at the same time. It might be easier and more sustainable than a strict diet and make your goal more achievable. I have begun trialing this by cutting down on the pasta I eat by 5% each week. I am now down to just 40g each time and I haven’t noticed that I am eating less! Woohoo!

Gosport Leisure Centre

What could you achieve if you did just 5% more exercise a week?

Photo by Alan Dent

If you are doing a course of study or have children who are currently at school or college, what might giving 5% more time and effort each week to studies achieve? Could you hear your child read just 5% more each week? (Yes, OK, I am a teacher so I would suggest these.)

If you are a working parent and you want to spend more time with your family, why not begin by trying to have 5% more quality family time each week with no interruptions from mobile phones or Playstations? It would only be a matter of a few minutes each day, but it would compound over time.

Trying to save or clear debt? Could you manage to set aside 5% more each week, or spend 5% less each week and see where it led? Even 1% or £1 or 1p would give an important message to your brain that you are able to save, which will have a big impact on how you view your financial position.

These are just a few suggestions – I am sure that you can come up with many more. Some will work and some won’t and you will never know which will yield miracles until you try them.

Please let me know if this idea works for you. I would love to know if you have any more ideas for its application, so please drop me an email to tell me of your innovations on the idea.

The Styling Bit

This week I am pondering the minefield of “Age Appropriate” dressing. I’m not a huge fan of this idea, though I am sure you would never have guessed from last week’s shoe photos.

Earlier in the year, as an expert stylist, I was asked to comment about “Age Appropriate” dressing on Radio Solent’s Sasha Twining Show. It was a completely unexpected call, which obliged me to give the matter some thought and then share these thoughts on air.

So, here is my take on this issue.

What you wear should have less to do with your age and much more to do with your confidence and body shape. I advocate wearing clothes that suit your body shape – women fall into five broad shapes. You are either: an apple, a pear, a strawberry, a rhubarb or an hourglass. If you are confident and dress to flatter your current body shape and colouring, then you will look amazing in just about anything! The radio question was connected to women wearing leather trousers after a certain age. I suggested that it was really a matter of confidence and body shape. The top model, Carmen Dell’Orefice who is 84 years of age still looks amazing in leather trousers, whereas Nora Batty probably wouldn’t look as great!  I think this illustrates my point perfectly.

So wear whatever suits your body shape and colouring and makes you happy. If you feel wonderful wearing something then you will probably look good in it because you will have an air of confidence, which is very appealing.

If you would like to find out what your body shape is and which styles flatter it, then please contact me for more information.

Create a Positive, Happy Life by Sue Courtney

Whenever we set ourselves a goal or say we want something it is because we believe that it will make us happier – no matter whether it is losing weight, moving house, changing job, going on holiday ….. the intention is always to make us happier.

In reality, this is putting the cart before the horse. It is much easier to achieve anything if, first, you have decided to be happy – but that is another article. So, for this week I offer some tips to help the happiness along.

The coaching bit

Last time I wrote about diminishing the impact of the irritating demon that says you can’t achieve your goals, taking 100% responsibility for your life and doing something to make you happy every day.

Now I have some more ideas to help you achieve success and have fun along the way.

We are, as a species, very good at focusing on what is wrong and finding fault. We are less good at looking at the positives, so this week I want to share some tips that will help to help rewire your brain to focus on how good life is already.

A timely reminder to live your life now – you just never know when time will run out! Photo by Alan Dent.

The first activity I would like to suggest is keeping a daily ‘success log’. In a specially chosen book that you will look forward to using, note at least five things that went well during each day. This is a very powerful activity as it enhances your self esteem and builds confidence. It also gets you into the habit of looking for things going right, thereby changing your focus to the good and positive aspects of each day. By recalling and writing down all of your successes, both big and small, you are wiring them into your long-term memory. On days when you need a boost you can re-read your entries and remind yourself that your life is actually a lot better than you think.

Another exercise is to use the back of the book to make a note of all the successes you have had over your lifetime – all the awards, certificates, achievements and compliments that you have collected over your life so far. Start at the very beginning, when you were a small child, and move year-by-year to the present day. Include things like dancing certificates, exams passed, jobs you have had, challenging events that you have  overcome – everything. This will remind you of how successful and amazing you actually are and always have been.

The mirror exercise works on the principle that we all need acknowledgement and the acknowledgement we give ourselves is the most important. You may feel silly doing this and I suggest doing it behind closed doors or when nobody else is around.

Basically, you stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself how great you are and appreciate all your achievements for the day.

You have to say it out loud!

This is usually quite challenging because self-congratulation is not a very British thing to do. But if it helps to build confidence in your ability to achieve results and change your life, it is certainly worth a try.

Lastly, for this week, have you tried ‘acting as-if’ you already are the successful ‘you’ who has achieved your goals?

When you are faced with temptation, a low mood, or a difficult situation, ask yourself,

“What would the successful me, who has achieved the goals, do in this situation?”

Then do whatever comes to mind – just as you would if you were that successful you (which you are, but have just temporarily forgotten). By developing the habit of taking action you will very quickly develop some of the habits of successful people and become that successful person, living your ideal life. This question has got me out of bed and motivated to take action on many occasions!

The Styling Bit

There is a new sensation sweeping the world of fashion – “Dopamine Dressing”. In essence it is fashion designed to cheer you up!

Now this isn’t exactly scientific, but there is some evidence that certain colours can lift your mood. However, the colours will be different for each individual. Personally I love to wear my yellow Dr.

 Marten boots and my silver platform trainers, they always make me feel great. (Whether you would agree that I look great when I am wearing them is another matter!)

My yellow Dr. Marten boots Photo by Alan Dent

I’m not convinced that wearing a yellow or silver dress would have the same effect on my happiness levels – no, I am actually convinced that I would look and feel dreadful! For me it has to do with wearing colours that I know flatter my skintone and make me look my best. I have given up on wearing colours that I like but don’t like me.

My silver platform trainers Photo by Alan Dent

When I do a Wardrobe De-Tox for clients I assess their colouring and advise on the colours that suit them best showing them why, very visually, in the mirror. However, if you don’t want to go to the trouble of having a complete wardrobe overhaul (which is very cost effective and great fun) I can recommend finding a local “Colour Me Beautiful” consultant and finding out which colours are in your personal colour palette.

I firmly believe that if you know that you are looking your best then your mood will automatically lift, you will feel happier and more confident. So, yes I believe clothes and the colours you wear can have an effect on your mood and make you happier.

What are your favourite colours that always make you feel wonderful?

If you are having challenges with your goals then please drop me an email, I would be happy to offer some advice. I would also love to hear about your amazing achievements this year.

Next time, I have yet more tips to help you achieve  your goals, or get you back on track if you have had a little lapse. I will also ponder the issue of ‘age appropriate dressing’! (Have a guess about what someone who wears yellow Dr. Marten’s or silver platform trainers might think.)