It's a New Year!

Design Your Dream Life by Sue Courtney

2017 is well under way now, so I have a question for you – did you make any new year resolutions?

Have you broken them yet?

The chances are that many of you will be able to say ‘yes’ to both questions and the year has hardly begun. I have certainly been in this position many times, but not any more. I have discovered a more effective way, which is a lot of fun and gives a much greater chance of success.

There are several reasons why new year resolutions often end in failure. One is that, in all honesty, the cold, bleak days of January are probably not best suited to contemplating going for a morning run, eating lettuce or venturing out to an evening exercise class in the snow!

A cold, bleak day in January. (photo by Alan Dent)

(Although I am currently participating in the sponsored WaterAid Just Water challenge, so I can only drink water for the month of January – yum! You can sponsor me at www.justgiving.org/Sue-Courtney)

Another reason is that they generally consist of a series of ‘shoulds’ – I should lose weight; I should get fit; I should spend less. And so the list goes on – a recipe for complete demotivation.

There is a better way and it begins with clarifying your values so your actions are in alignment with your authentic self, not someone else’s idea of what is right. Because so many of us set goals or resolutions based on what we perceive someone else expects of us, this is an activity that I do with all my clients before we begin working together. Basically it involves listing your top ten values – such as honesty, courage, loyalty etc (I provide a comprehensive list) and then, using my system, reduce it to your top five, which we use to keep a check on goals to ensure they are what you actually want.

The next step is to set aside some quality time to think about how you would like your life to be. What would your ideal life look like? If you could have anything, do anything and be anything, what would you choose? Think big here – this is no time to play small because your playing small helps nobody.

The idea of goals (or resolutions) is that you believe that you would be happier if you had achieved them. So I suggest that you take 6 areas of life – relationships, work/career, health, finances, fun/recreation and contribution – and create a broad idea of how you would like each area to be, in an ideal life. Make this a broad, general statement of intent. I do this at the beginning of each year.

Now you are ready to get into the exciting details. For each area of life, begin to get into the detail of what exactly would contribute to achieving the broad intention previously stated. Then check to ensure that they are in alignment with your top 5 values. After all, if one of your top values is ‘security’ and you have a goal to give up work and travel the world there may be a bit of resistance and I would have to ask whether it really is your goal or someone else’s.

Next time I will cover how to write your goals out to maximize success using the 4Ps and some tips to help you achieve the goals more quickly.

Making the most of now

A few years ago I read an article by John P. Strelechy (author of The Why Are You Here Café) entitled The Gift of Time. Now this may at first appear a little unsettling, but I found it enlightening and inspiring and I would like to share with with you.

The basic idea is that you take your ideal, anticipated life span in years, based on present health and family history, and subtract your current age. Multiply the answer by 365 and you have an approximate number of days you may have left to live to the fullest and enjoy. (This is not an exact science, but it does the job.)

Now ask yourself whether you want to spend them living your current life or the life you truly want and deserve? I think it focuses the mind on achieving the goals that are important to you and living life to the full on your terms. There is no time to waste. Happy Goal Setting!