End the Year Well by Sue Courtney

Did you have a wonderful Christmas? I hope so. I certainly did, spending it with all my close family for the first time in several years. But I can’t help noticing that the holiday season flies by so quickly, especially if you have to return to work between Christmas and New Year.

Which leads me to ponder - is it just me, or are you also surprised to find that we are at the very end of 2017 already? I’m sure it should only be the end of August, not December!

I cannot believe how quickly this year has flown by. It has been an interesting year marked by amazing highs such as raising money for WaterAid by drinking only water for the whole of January, having an Amazon number 1 bestselling book in April (“Success with Style: How to Create a Signature Look That Says You Mean Business” – just in case you are interested!), becoming the Minutes Secretary for the Gosport Society and writing a weekly piece for the Gosport Globe online newspaper, to name just a few. Of course there have been challenges as well, but the challenges are all part of life and make us stronger and wiser (in theory)!

I believe that life is what you make it and what you decide it will be and I consider that this year has been very positive and life-affirming in all its aspects.

I generally use the space between the end of Christmas and the New Year to look back over the year and remember the good times. This is made easier because I have spent the year filling my ‘Memories Jar’ with all the good times and events that have happened. This year I have accumulated more than 300 memories in my jar, which means that it has been pretty full since the summer. I have been cramming in more and more highlights until it seems, now, to be totally full. But it has been so lovely to look back over the year and reminisce about fun times, happy days, surprise gifts and accomplished goals. However, dwelling on the past for too long, whether good or bad, shows great disrespect for the future, so once I have read all my entries, it is time to put them behind me and move on.

My overflowing Memories Jar. (Photo by Alan Dent)

Reviewing the year in this way celebrates the small wins that have happened over the space of the year. It is a fun activity that generates a great deal of positive energy and optimism for the future. After that it is time to look forward and plan what I want to achieve in 2018. I plan to build on the positives from 2017 and use the lessons that the challenges brought to increase my wisdom, creativity and growth. (Yes, I know, they are lofty ideals and I have no idea how I will achieve this – yet. But this is the aim.)

If you would like to learn how to create a Memories Jar of your own and fill it with all the great stuff that 2018 will bring, then please email me at sue@successandimagecoach.co.uk and I will be happy to provide some information. I am currently working on a short workshop on the process, including decorating the jar.

But now it is time to lovingly begin the process of creating a 2018 to remember and this year I will be taking a slightly different, four-step approach.

Step 1.

I will begin by deciding what I want to continue doing more of. These are the activities that worked – they may have made me happy, helped others, made money – whatever they are I will build on them and continue. So continue writing, healthy eating, walking, doing creative activities that I enjoy – you get the idea?

Step 2.

What do I want to stop doing? I want to stop worrying so much and stressing about things that I cannot control or which are unimportant – such as traffic lights changing to red when `I reach the lights.

Step 3.

What do I want to do less of? I want to eat less ‘rubbish’ and complain less. I want to waste less time, be less critical of myself (and others).

Step 4.

What new activities do I want to start doing? I want to learn to meditate and carve out some time each day to be still.

What are your answers to these questions? Once you have thought about them you can begin to create your ideal year and make 2018 your best year yet. Decide how you want it to be and then work out what you have to do and who you have to become to achieve it.

A few weeks ago a coach asked a question – when you have achieved your goals this year, how will your life feel? Most people answered by stating what they would be doing – but I had a different answer. I want my life to feel light, bright, happy, healthy, whirly, twirly, twinkly and sparkly!

How do you want your life to feel?

So I will end by wishing you a very Happy, Healthy and Successful New Year that feels exactly right for you.

www.successandimagecoach.co.uk

www.suecourtney.com

sue@successandimagecoach.co.uk  

What Are Your Goals for August?

It is the last day of July - where has the year gone? I don't know about you, but I haven't yet achieved many of the goals I set for myself this year. I am not concerned about this for several reasons.

• There are still five months of the year left.
• I have achieved goals that I hadn't set! I have enjoyed this.
• Goals don't have to be set in stone. Sometimes better ideas and opportunities come along that mean the original goals take a back seat for a while or even get deleted. That is OK.

But I was wondering - what are your goals for August? 

I know that it is traditionally a holiday month, but it is still OK to have goals. They may be related to a holiday mindset, relaxing and making the most of the summer months. You might want to

• Leave work early (or on time) at least one day each week over the summer.
• Spend more time relaxing with friends and family.
• Eat more healthily.
• Spend more time out in the fresh air - maybe enjoying outdoor sports or just walking.
• Lose some weight.
• Sort out the garden - so you can enjoy spending time in it.
• Find time to read a few books that  you have been wanting to read for some time.

Or you may have work or life goals that you would like to achieve over the month.

Apart from relaxing and continuing to appreciate and enjoy the life I am creating, I want to post at least one short blog each day and take on one new client (as I now have space for one more).

It is possible to work anywhere in the world if you have a laptop. 

I enjoyed writing from abroad.

Whatever your goals, do you have a plan to achieve them?

Remember that writing out your goal using the 4 Ps - present tense, positive, personal and with passion - isn't enough. You need to have the steps you will need to take and a contingency plan for when life happens! 

So I am making a plan of what I may write about each day (though I will often ignore that and do my own thing, it will help to have a backup plan for when I am in a hurry or I lack inspiration). I am scheduling it into my diary and I have a plan to write some copy and save it on a memory stick for days when I leave home at half past six in the morning and return home after nine in the evening. A quick copy and paste job will ensure that I can relax knowing a post is still possible on busy days.

Traditionally people tend to relax and use the summer to develop new goals. Taking on a coach is often left until the autumn. Never mind. I m sure that there are several people out there who are ready to use their summer to 'get ahead of the game' with a coach. And while I am waiting, the space gives me more time to develop my plans and take action on my goals.

So what is your backup plan for your goals?

You know what they say

"If you fail to plan you plan to fail."

Please let me know what your goals are for August and also your action plans to achieve them.

Post them below so we can all support each other.

Heres to a happy and successful August. 😀

Love and Spring/Summer 2017 Styles

The Coaching Bit

Yet another terrorist atrocity last Saturday evening in London has left us reeling. This was followed by the Ariana Grande benefit concert in Manchester, which restored faith in the goodness of human nature. Life in the UK certainly seems to be an emotional roller coaster ride at the moment. 

My thoughts are with the people and families who experienced the tragedy at the events and those who lost loved ones. But I am also thinking of the men and women of the emergency services, who attended and dealt with the incidents. They are ordinary people just like you and me, who do an extraordinary job. Certainly they are trained to react professionally in practical terms and they do an amazing job. I wonder though, how they cope with the traumas on an emotional level? I think they deserve huge respect for what they do.

There were some quotes from the concert that resonated with me:

“Love conquers fear”

“Love spreads”

“Don’t look back (or go forward) in anger”.

We can’t fight the world right because what we attract more of what we focus on. In order to fight hate and terrorism we have to focus on what we don’t want and give it all the energy. 

Instead, give your energy to what you DO want. Focus on love – the people who helped and cared. Look for the good – always. 

I am reminded of the Native American parable which tells of a tribal elder who is teaching his grandson about life.  He tells of two dogs, one good and the other bad. When his grandson asks which dog wins he tells him, "The one you feed."

So feed the love and, in the words of Coldplay, ask yourself

“Am I part of the cure?

Or am I part of the disease?”

Of course, to do this we must remember to take care that our own life is full of love and joy. 

You can’t pour from an empty cup. 

It is not selfish to look after yourself. Keep your cup full of love and joy – you can’t pour from an empty cup.

As a style, success and happiness coach I am uniquely placed to help if your cup is a not as full as you would like.

See my website – www.successandimagecoach.co.uk. For those who want to try me before committing to a full programme, the “Inspired To Succeed” Membership Group is an ideal way to try before you buy - www.successandimagecoach.co.uk/services.

The Styling Bit

This week I thought I would outline the current trends for summer 2017. I don’t advocate following trends as they frequently don’t suit the majority of women, but it does no harm to know what is currently ‘on trend’ – you never know, you might have just the perfect item lurking in the back of your wardrobe waiting for the right moment to shine!

Fuchsia pink is a big colour trend this summer and, happily will flatter most skin tones. You could just wear a t-shirt in this colour with one of the other trends, or go bold with a dress. If you aren’t sure about a large block of such a bold colour then try a bag or shoes, a scarf or necklace to give a nod to the current trend.

The white shirt is a classic and always has a place in your wardrobe, whatever the season. This summer you could bring the classic up to date with a ‘statement’ sleeve (AKA big bell shape that doesn’t go well under jackets or cardis). Alternatively the ‘cold shoulder’ look seems more wearable in summer than it did in the winter. Why would anyone want to wear a wonderfully warm, thick, chunky jumper – with huge holes in the shoulders? However, in a summer top it can look good if you have good shoulders.

Tops come in a variety of colours and themes. The ‘statement’ sleeve and ‘cold shoulder’ are options, as is the off-the-shoulder style, which I think is only for the very brave. I would have tried it some years ago, but now I prefer to know that my clothes are going to stay put, where I want them!

Stripes are ‘on trend’ – from pinstriped shirts to bright, bold stripes. You choose whether or not to try them. Just remember that the myth about vertical stripes being slimming and horizontal stripes being fattening are just that – a myth. It all depends on the width of the stripe – and as a stylist I have a few tricks for making any stripe appear slimming.

Knitwear is an essential in this climate! If you are feeling brave you could try a jumper in bright sunshine yellow. It is a big colour trend for this summer and is guaranteed to brighten a dull day and life spirits – but only if it is in your colour palette and flatters your skintone. If you love the colour more than it loves you, try a bag, shoes, skirt or trousers in the colour. A sunshine yellow umbrella would really brighten a gloomy, wet day!

Denim is joining the bohemian trend with embroidery detail. If you prefer your denim plain, you can always add embroidery in other items. Remember that dark blue denim is the most flattering shade and the most elegant.

Trousers are an important element of most wardrobes. This season there are two main trends. If you are tall then the wide leg palazzo pants are perfect. They are floaty, cool and fresh. Choose from bohemian florals of a more elegant block colour, which looks great teamed with a plain white t-shirt or shirt.

If you aren’t sure about palazzo pants then try culottes. Yes, I remember the trend from the 80s and early 90s, but it is back and can be a useful and elegant look, with the right accessories.

Cropped, slim leg trousers are also back – they seem to be a seasonal staple. They are useful and a much better look than shorts, for most people. Try them in this season’s gingham print with a block colour top (maybe fuchsia or sunshine yellow).

Ruffles are a big trend – but only for the slim, I think. Remember my thoughts on dressing for your shape, from a few weeks ago? Well, in a blouse or dress, this is the perfect look for ‘pear’ shapes and ‘rhubarb’ shapes. If that isn’t you but you love ruffles, try them on sandals, shoes, bags or umbrella. 

Dresses are longer this summer. Remember the midi? Me too – and it is back. Think floaty and bohemian in retro prints and florals.

The bomber jacket is a great standby jacket as it can dress an outfit up or down. I prefer mine to be plain, but prints, embroidery and other embellishments are available.

If you are now confused, please go to www.successandimagecoach.co.uk/wardrobe-de-tox for help!

 (Author of Amazon number 1 bestselling  e-book “Success with Style: How to Create a Signature Look That Says You Mean Business”)

Look For The Good + Holiday Capsule Wardrobe

The Coaching Bit

Last week I didn’t write about the shocking bombing in Manchester as I was still processing the information. With time I have developed my response.

Words alone cannot express how I feel about the shocking incident, but as with any event in life, I try to find the good. So I began by looking for the helpers. All those hundreds of people from the emergency services, those in the area who supported the wounded and the homeless who gave assistance. If proof were needed that there are many, many more good people in the world than bad, then this is it.

Then I thought about the fact that this country is, at this moment, probably far safer than it was before this dreadful event occurred.

And I am sure that we have all been appreciating and holding our loved ones a little closer since the event.

I think that the best thing any one of us can do is remember that love is stronger than hate and share that love with everyone we come across in our daily lives. So smile at strangers, let the waiting car go in front of you, do a random act of kindness for a stranger and make the world a happier and more loving place.

Snagging list

How are you getting on with your snagging list?

I was able to complete several ‘snags’ from my list over the holiday weekend – but I have also added some as well!

It is amazing how much better I feel each time I can cross of a ‘snag’. I feel a little lighter, somehow, as if a weight is diminishing. So if you haven’t tried this idea yet, I encourage you to have a go. I have

·      trimmed all the bushes (by that I mean hacked down hard) which lets light into the lounge and makes it easier to move around the garden.

·      I have planted up all the pots and hanging baskets

·      I have cleared all the unopened mail and filed the contents, which has cleared my desk (and so my head)

·      I have had a cull of my books and cleared a few that I haven’t read in spite of the fact that I have had then for several years.

·      I have done some research and I have begun to go through each room, clearing clutter (work in progress)

The Styling Bit

The Holiday Capsule Wardrobe

The holiday season is upon us and for those lucky enough to be escaping for a week or two there are issues to be resolved. I put my hand up and admit that I am completely incapable of travelling light – it is a struggle to carry my bag to the car even for a weekend away! If I am going away for a whole week or more the problem really doesn’t bear thinking about. I take every item of suitable clothing out of my wardrobe along with all shoes and accessories and a jumper or two in case it is cold in the evening. (For Goa in April – am I mad?) I then struggle to cram it all in, weigh the case and get cross and upset because it exceeds the weight limit and I now have to make choices.

So this year I am going to do things differently. I am going to learn to travel light by taking a capsule wardrobe. I have researched the issue thoroughly and I would like to share my findings with you.

The first thing to consider is the sort of holiday you are going on. Is it a beach holiday, city break, safari or cruise? They each need a very different wardrobe of clothes. Then think about what you will be doing each day and whether any of these have special requirements such as hiking boots for long walks or tops to cover your shoulders and arms for visiting some religious sites. Is there likely to be an occasion where a posh frock will be required? If so pack just one and use the local or hotel laundry service if required. If not then just don’t pack it! (I am really struggling with this piece of advice as I always pack at least one just in case!) One really comfortable pair of ‘walk anywhere’ shoes or sandals is usually sufficient, in a neutral colour that can be worn with dresses, shorts, jeans or trousers.

Many holidays involve lounging by the pool or on the beach, shopping, sightseeing and nights out at restaurants or a show. This can mean a selection of clothes that, these days, will put you seriously over your weight limit and out of pocket before you have even hit duty the duty free shops or boarded the plane! However, with some clever mixing and matching and some multi-tasking staples it is possible to look perfectly dressed for all occasions and still come in under your weight limit, which is great because that means you can bring more back with you.

The easiest option is to wear an outfit out in the evening and then wear it again the following day with a change of shoes and fewer accessories. Current trends can easily be dressed up for evening and down for day so you always look stylish.

I have a list of basic items to go into your suitcase that should see you happily from night to day, beach to shops for a week or two with clever mixing and matching and the occasional use of the hotel laundry service or some handwashing. If you coordinate all your colours you will have an even more versatile look. The dresses and shoes will see you happily through shopping sprees, sightseeing and more formal business meetings with no problem.

I have written a full report which includes a list of essential clothes to pack, the best beachwear for your body shape and more tips to save you weight and space, which is available to members of my “Inspired to Succeed” membership group. (www.successandimagecoach.co.uk/services )

I hope you enjoy your holiday and look stunning throughout your stay. My goal this season is to take a capsule wardrobe that is significantly under the weight limit. Wish me luck!

 (Author of Amazon number 1 bestselling  e-book “Success with Style: How to Create a Signature Look That Says You Mean Business”)